I realised I wasn't that a close friend after all. I think I really overestimated myself. Ruins the day thanks. You have that ruining day effect on me.

Too lazy to blog liao. I predict this blog will die off soon... Hehe

Quite sian today. Passed physics with 50%! Unexpected. No mood to study at all. Tmr ends at 235 I think. No playing com. Must start doing work alr. Come on! Don't allow yourself to be discouraged now! Anyway I think we will be getting back Maths and Econs case study tmr. GLHF! (Good Luck Happy Failing?)

Had dinner with Nikki tday. Great night haha. Wish every night could be like this. But I don't think she has gotten over him yet. Anyways, I guess all I can do is to just try my best and see if she likes me back :/ My results so far has been pretty decent! Nikki is just crazy. So much for giving up hope. Top in class for physics and GP, second for chemistry. Dammit. Nvm I'm not that far behind haha. Aim to beat her one day! For now I have to be happy with what I have and be happy for her! Saw Yan Ling on the bus this morning. She say she didn't want to meet because Wei Jie was coming. Weird. Wonder if she still likes me or not. I decided that I will stay true to the one I love and try my best to win her heart! If we are not meant to be, so be it! Just stay cool and be natural. Wise words from me HAHA

Feeling happy is good. The reason why I would feel happy is because you talk to me. But obviously I'm not the cause of your happiness. Relationships are troublesome and complicated. I need God's guidance on what to do.

Bar Bar

Just came back from Bar Bar :/ Night well spent but really tired. Really thank Aettiqcaz(?) for sending us home! Anw saw the pic that Nikki sent to me. Really cute and sweet. Maybe if I keep wishing hard enough it will come true? HAHA as if! 😘

I really miss you but I don't deserve you. Anyway its all one sided.

Argh

Was blogging halfway last night when my sis switched off the internet. Made an infuriating night even worse. The bus ride left me with a headache amd Mass Effect had a stupid ending which didn't allow me to complete my DLC. Sigh. On a brighter note, my grandma is okay after her fall the other day. We went to PP to visit her and she seemed normal. And, today I went to JY hse to study for at most 1h? Heh I hope tmr papers are okay. I pretty much given up anw. INSOMNIA BETTER STAY AWAY TNIGHT

Fatigue

Finally the week is over! Really exhausting... Poor management of time for chem today :( only shaded 5/30 -.- Luckily Mr Tong allowed me to shade. It was really that sinking feeling when I knew I screwed up big time and there was nothing I could do... Anyway Maths Paper 2 was alright. Hopefully I can do well for maths. Heh Mass Effect all the way since dinner. And I had Manhatten for lunch! There was a one for one offer :D Now I am hungry :/ I miss Nikki, wish she would miss me too

People all around me are starting to feel the heat. Maybe it's because I studied abit during the holidays, but I don't really feel stressed now. I feel like I am on course. Let's hope my results prove it. Anw really tired. After effects of watching Spain-Portugal last night! Just had a nap and shall continue sleeping soon :) Mass Effect can wait HAHA Please cheer up soon Nikki!

2am

Its two in the morning and I'm waiting for the Euro semifinal to start. Heh. Luckily tomorrow's paper is at1. I doubt I will have enough sleep anw :/ Anw Nikki is still struggling with physics but there is nothing I can do. Wish there is something I can do to like cheer her up.. I need a shower! STICKY MAX

MYEs

The mid-years are here! I think I did pretty decently for my first two papers.. Chem was tough though. Econs seems easy enough but you never know with econs! Tomorrow is Maths P1! Well, here is the big question. Would you rather be with someone who wants you or someone you want? If you can't have your cake and eat it...

I should start to blog using proper English! And I just told Yan Ling that she is beautiful! I have no idea what possessed me but yes, she is beautiful.

Just watched the chn8 drama. I want to be a good partner. But I definitely am not ready. Its obvious that I am trying but perhaps I'm relying too much on myself. Its time to let God into my life. Maybe next time I will be ready.

You don't know how big an impact you have on me. Everything you say, your likes, dislikes. I only wish you cared half the same for me. Countless times which I felt as if you were just plunging your knife into my heart for fun. I really don't know anymore. This has always been one sided but I can't bear to walk away. Yet.

Gonna sleep soon! I think I watching Sadako tmr with CY! And Nikki going out study again. Hope its not with that HX... Sighs overthinking can and will kill me. Whoever she goes out with is none of my business! Kk signing off from the blog all about Nikki Lim! HAHA

Nikki's Blog

This blog has been all about you. I created it just to post stuff that I can't tweet about. Sigh I doubt you will ever feel the same way for me. Anw, met JY and kevin tday. Lol I got laughed at for the way I confessed. Gotta admit, I'm pretty pathetic. Got to keep my morale up I don't want to be sad again. Barely studied today! Tmr has got to be more productive. Hope the sandfly bites don leave a mark on your skin, my love :(

We are definitely drifting apart. I think its more of me not putting in the effort to talk while you are just the same you. I'm just afraid you don't want to talk thats all. Things really have changed. I guess that was really a bad call by me...

Been a long time since I had a good day

Drugs

This medicine really power sia. Just now took a pill and felt so sleepy I didn't even know what hit me. Watched plenty of movies today heh never really studied much... Kk gtg liao lazy to blog. Just wanna sleep

As expected it was break. But its okay, I can deal with it. Just don expect me to give up on it! I guess you will just be a normal friend to me now so yep! Not gonna talk to u so much since its pointless. All those bites I got ystd are really infuriating. I think its sandflies! Seriously need maintain abit more.. My cousins just left! Really tiring to take care of them but I think I did a pretty good job! Patience is key I guess. Finished 3 Maths topics so far hehe IM DEAD LOLS

Break

It was a terrific day today, I went to Changi beach and had Sakae buffet. And I had to ruin it all by dropping the bombshell. Admittedly, I didnt dare to say it out and had to rely on sms. I knew it was gonna to be make or break anyway. I still havent got an answer yet but at least I no longer am living in my dreams. Brought back to reality

Finale

Forgot to blog ystd. Well, spent the whole of today playing. Well spent I must say haha :) Tmr going out with Nikki. Guess its the end of it alr! Either I gather up my courage to confess, and we live happily ever after, or I accept my failure and really treat her as a normal friend. No matter what, I dont want to lose her as a friend and of course, she would make a perfect girlfriend heh. All the best for me and JY tmr! Big day for both of us

Men In Black

Just bathed! Really tired I don't feel like studying at all. But I too far behind in my studies already. Caught MIB3 just now! Awesome show, really mind boggling. Asks alot of questions on time travel and all its paradoxes!

NS Checkup

Today went better then expected. But Weisheng didnt turn up. That ass. We postpone day for him still never come. Spain drew with Italy just now. Tmr go NS Checkup hope I get PesA! Idw some low pes please....

Haiz why nikki keep saying about her blog views but never update her blog... Kk Holland lost, hope Germany wins later! Gotta admit I have been having pretty rough nights for the past week alr... Going out tmr! HAVE FUN TO ME

Night

Yet another day passes by. MYE is really round the corner BUCK UP NIGEL!!! Today spent a couple of hours studying with Yan Ling. I think she was kinda sad to see me leave lols. I left at 5 while she studied till 10 heh.... If Nikki does get attached, I think I can only consider myself pretty kuch a failure. Please dont let it happen.... Please please please give me a chance

Hopefully my run of bad days comes to an end today! Tmr better study hard I got Monster Hunter to play nao kekeke... Tmr gonna study with yl! Better be productive! Im quite sure she doesnt like me....

Lazy to blog today. Just not a good day. Although I had Jack's place for lunch... Sometimes I really wonder if you are a blessing to me or not.

Fml

Bad night. Fucking pissed off nao with absolutely no reason. Its time to change things. I keep blaming myself for everything. Dragonboat, her, every fucking thing. For once its not gonna be my fault I have done my best and so its your fucking fault for not doing your part. I am sick and tired of being your second choice. Being patient with you and I receive no patience at all. Just go fuck yourself

Camp

Really didn't do anything today. Came home from camp and slept till 6+. Lol idk why I was so tired after only 1 day at camp. Really missing Nikki for idk what reasons :( I wish we could be tgt and that she knew about my feelings. It's really hard loving someone and not reciprocating. Nvm tmr got vertical marathon and my legs hurt. Found rashes lol. They better go away tmr. Need to sleep early so GTG! Just saying, I love you, Nikki Lim.

31st May

Today was Jing's bday. Well hope he had fun! Ponned physics test today, went for chemistry and listened to Mr Tong scold us for 1h. Haha he zai sia but can see that he cares for us! Ponned econs too idk why I even went to sch. Wasn't really a good day, Nikki was super pissed off just now rofl. She told me about some guy confessing that was really sweet. Well, it puts me to shame... I really dk which is the way forward for me now, am I to go forward or just stay where I am? Anw enough of the sad stuff, tmr got June camp! Gonna play soccer first den meet Darren at TP Mac LOL

Yet another day passes! Slept through econs and played through maths. What an enjoyable day. Game of Thrones is really captivating! COME ON NED STARK! Went back to NAS just now and saw Aetiicquez. I still dk how to spell his name rofl. Darrel and Jun Hao made me wait for like 3 fricking hours. Now must study Liao ah. Finish Chem and prepare for phy test tmr!

Sigh yet another day has passed. Today didn't even touch books hehe I started watching Game of Thrones! Quite nice ah. Asked Nikki if she wanted go eat today, she said she busy for entire week. Lols. What's new? Better sleep soon. Don't let negativity affect me!

GP exam today. Was okay, kinda hard though. Hopefully I can do well! Haven't ask her how it was yet, hope it was easy for her! She is eating prata now! Sighs anw I completed Kingdom of Amalur! I killed a dragon but Alyn Shir disappeared :( she was kinda pretty. And now I have tons to study before I sleep lololol good luck to me!

Stayed at home the whole day. Had a pretty productive day, managed to study and play. Nikki cut her hair! She looks prettier now haha. Her sis called me cute LOL I think she's blind too anw she's not the person I want to hear from.. Nighttime was shitty. Idk why either I think I stoned for almost 2 h doing nth at all lololol. Ended of the dat with a pretty bad mood but at least Nikki is in a good mood! Tmr GP exam liao just go out there and do my best! No one to go Jubilation with, so I doubt I will be going.

Just got home after PA Paddlers. What a way to end 2 years of rowing. With nothing to show for it except tan skin... Sucky day haiz all the paddlers seemed happy I think I was the only one who felt really disappointed we didn't even make it past the heats. On the bright side, I was talking to Nikki all the way home. She really can cheer me up! Later still need go tmart for June Camp meeting haiz Darren not going. Hope today ends of well!

I love you, girl

Today rowed 6 sets. Tiring but I think I put in my all! Hope can perform well for tmr races. Met Sam this morning though. Forgot to tell him to check out Yan Ling who was standing beside me HAHA Had a delightful twist to my day. Met Nikki after her pooling! Woohoo! Went to slack near her house and I got to hold her hands! Well not actually hold but I think that will be the closest I get to holding them :/ Her hands were soft though haha I like them already LOLS tonight need to sleep early, prepare to study, and no soft drinks :( Hope I can find the courage to confess soon and face up to the consequences no matter what!

Fatigue

Finally my day is coming to an end. Thanks to Nikki who accompanied me to buy presents for my mum and sis just now. All that's left is Jing's present... Too bad I can't spend tmr with her :( Anw my younger sis bought sharks fin for me just now! What a shocker LOL. Tmr got no sch but still have to go training. Competition is on Sat so FIGHT ON! Have lots of fun tmr!

Replacement for Twitter?

I guess this will be my last post for today! This most likely will result in me not ranting on Twitter anymore and every single shit will end up here. Zomg that sounds bad... Hope tmr will be a good day and that you will have a good day too!

Done for today

GP finally done. I think I'm irritating Nikki. Lucky she can't see this blog hehe. I shall just spam my posts as I believe this urge to blog will go away soon enough. Hopefully all my problems will go away soon :/

First World Problems

Really wonder what's wrong with me now. Totally forgot that it was my mum's birthday today -.- And I need to go buy gifts soon. A soft toy for my older sis, a cap for my mum, and something for Jing. Nikki not free and obviously I can't ask Jing.... Darn I don't want to ask YL!

Finally!

I think I really need a blog. A place for me to rant of everything. Somewhere I can say everything out with no worries!