Heh Nikki asked about this blog just now. Big mouth sia go tweet about it. How to show her when probably 90% of my posts are about her and like half of them have her name? Half of me wants to how her but I know I can't. Our relationship will just worsen then things will get awkward. But it's okay. I realize I still enjoy talking to her alot. It seems like she still is a person who I can really feel at ease talking to.

Now I just wish she would find a boyfriend quickly. So I can finally give up

Do I ever cross your mind?

Lazy

Been a long time since I last blogged. Always have words I want to say but never get the chance to say them. I usually end up just saying them in my head and forgetting about them. Anyway in OCS now. The culture is really different and to b honest, I can't wait to go back to Hendon. Commando pride. Also trying to get over Nikki now. Samuel also said that its about time and I kind of agree. But it's really not that easy. Still have about one more month? Or otherwise I can have something t think bout while I'm in Brunei. 15 Sept I will be flying. Going to miss her birthday too. Not that it means anything to her. Sigh so much for moving on

Book out on Friday!

Really exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally drained to my limits. Idk why a 16km fast march can be so hard on me. BAC has been great this week, plenty of free time and fun doing tower jumps. Still a nights out virgin though. Barely talked to Nikki this entire week. It's like I'm going through withdrawal symptoms. Really want to talk to her but I should refrain from doing so. Not talking so much would be better and I should just wait for her to reply. Sigh. Yup and I still miss you...

Airborne Ranger Commando

Starting airborne tmr. I really have no idea what we are going to do an the level of welfare. I hope we don't have to attend all the lessons but I doubt it will happen. Just survive airborne, not get injured and remain fit all the way. MUST REACH OCS! And I still miss Nikki sigh. I should end of each post like this

Trouble

I'm really in quite alot of trouble. I doubt I will ever get over Nikki in the short run. Not that I didn't try, or am not trying. It's just too difficult. I need to get a girlfriend. That just sounds desperate. But I guess what I need is a partner, someone I can really relate to and share. Someone whom I trust enough and really love. Sadly I think I have to wait until Uni to be attached. I miss the feeling where you care for someone and you know she cares for you too. Sick of this one sides feeling. Am I to endure this for the next two years? Please no get over her ASAP