Finale!

Back from Brunei! Going to talk abit about Brunei first before I go into the depressing stuff. Brunei really wasn't easy with the terrain. JCC I guess wasn't really the highlight, it was the way I died at Nagalang during Helang 1. If there is any regrets I have, that definitely is up there at number one. But th trip as a whole was really fast and I would rather go Brunei then go back to Hukou Camp any day. But I think I really felt completely weak on the last day of JCC. Lack of food and carrying the signal set for the past 8 days made Trekker really unbearable for me. Getting weak already I need to build up my fitness like mad. Still have my IPPT to clear. Later better do some PT. God please give me the determination to carry this through. But JCC really made me want to eat all the food in the world. At least I had Zi Char with my family just now. They are truly the most important people in the world. Not any other girl.

So much for a week. I couldn't even resist for a day. I think I almost went out of my mind. I still have two overlays left. Seriously going to rage alr. There's this burning anger inside me. Blog alot this few days. Maybe it's cause I have alot to say and twitter is no longer safe for me to do so. I don't want to hurt people's feelings or affect them so it's better to just blog 

Been thinking about her since the moment I woke up at 8. It's like overcoming an addiction. COLD TURKEY! Really doesn't feel good although cold turkey is a bit of an exaggeration heh

Summary

Oh to sum things up, if Nikki saw this blog I'll probably be dead meat

7th month

My excuse is that tonight is the 7th month that's why I'm sending her home again. It's supposed to be the last time and I'm going to really stick by it. This time I'm serious and really giving up on her. Half of her personality and character is everything I look for in a girl. Nice, kind, soft spoken, funny, cute. Her other half is exactly what I hate in girls. More specifically, the kind of girls I avoid. She apparently is very high profile, the crazy fangirling I kind of it past it, but most of all she has really many male good friends. Call me crazy or what but yea I'm jealous. It doesn't matter anymore, I'm going to test myself on how long I can take. I guess probably a week. I'm going all the way already. I honestly don't know how to be good friends with a girl. Usually after good friends come girlfriend but this one wont work out. Enough time spent on her, I have to move on with my life. But Nikki will always be a good friend and I hope she finds a guy that will always love her and her next boyfriend will b her last.

Heh Nikki asked about this blog just now. Big mouth sia go tweet about it. How to show her when probably 90% of my posts are about her and like half of them have her name? Half of me wants to how her but I know I can't. Our relationship will just worsen then things will get awkward. But it's okay. I realize I still enjoy talking to her alot. It seems like she still is a person who I can really feel at ease talking to.

Now I just wish she would find a boyfriend quickly. So I can finally give up