Thailand 2014

Just left the house otw to the airport. Can feel some kind of pressure just weighing down on me. Anxiety. 20 days to come back, shouldn't be a problem right? I just dislike going overseas. Anyway, today didn't really work out. Didn't get to meet Nikki for lunch. Ended up going to KFC by myself and getting a 3piece meal and some ice cream after that. At least I had a memorable meal, albeit by myself. My NS friends have become the closest people to me now, I think the friendship between me and Nikki will just continue to drift and we both know that. Maybe there is something I can do about it but I don't know what that is. Yanling was also unavailable to meet up. I've got to stop making her my 2nd choice. No one deserves that but I guess I just want some company. I wish that I could have at least someone sending me off at the airport this time. 5 times already. Sometimes it just makes me feel less important then others.

Don't know if this is emotional or physical pain. Sucks though

Woah finally downloaded blogger app again. Half year has passed! Lots of stuff has happened but I'm kind of lazy to type it all out. Long story short, completed the whole training company journey together with 5th company.

Comms Ball

Been more than a month since my last post. Well obviously I had a lot of trouble finding a comms ball date. I got rejected 3 times before finally making it. Well first, Yan ling rejected me. She said it was weird. Well, up till now I still don't understand. All I needed was a friend to help me. I guess that was one of the most needy periods of my army life and..  enough said. As time went by, I got even more desperate. So I asked Suchi. Of course she rejected me because she was attached. But then it was expected so I didn't feel much other than a growing sense of desperation. So finally I asked Nikki. I thought maybe she could understand the desperation I was in and just help me out in the capacity of a friend. But in the end she didnt accept either. And she said because she didnt go with the other guy either. I just forgot his name lol. But I still remember I hate his guts. Oh well. But finally I asked jesslyn and she went with me! Quite a big surprise. Anyway, she is really a nice girl and the night turned out to be more enjoyable then I expected. Of course there were certain awkward moments but we moved past them. This episode only made me reflect on my time in jc. Of the 2 years, I only made friends with 2 girls, and only one extremely close female friend. On hindsight, I better choose my friends properly next time. I have wanted to say this for so long. A friend in need is a friend indeed. And apparently I do not have any female friends indeed. Just feeling frustrated today because I have been selling myself the lie that I have gotten over her. The emotions that I am feeling right now prove otherwise.

In camp now for CDO duty. Oh well. Not even going to spend a night at home this weekend. But I have to say its definitely not my worst weekend. Next week is pantherstrike already. Get it over and done with! 1/4 down a bit more to the end of pro term!

291113

Been coughing nonstop for the past couple of days. Fell sick already in Taiwan. Running nose, headache, sore throat, slight fever. Sigh today was a complete waste of time in OCS. I dont know how long more I can take it in that damn place. Get me out soon please. And btw Nikki just changed her profile pic to another of her and her bf. Just to continue listing stuff that went wrong today.

Taiwan!

Was really dreading this trip. And before I left, all the memories of my previous trip all came to me. Like the time when I called you and you finally picked up. I was so happy like a little boy and all my friends saw. That was really quite silly when I look back. But anyway, this time we went Heng Chun camp and honestly, it was much easier then expected. Half the time was spent in my bed. Brunei was really much worse. The positives of Taiwan are the cool weather and when you have endured a tough climb up hilly terrain, you can enjoy the beautiful view of the hilltops right in front. I was in the CRT team for finale and a full commando team really makes a difference.  In brunei, I took the signal set most of the time but this time, my new friend was the MG. I think I was in the MG Team at least 3/4 of the time. The defence missions were the worst for me, as I fell asleep atop .108 as the OP and braved freezing winds at White House to massacre Pooven's forces. Heh. R&r was much more enjoyable and we commandos are really becoming tighter as the days go by. I got a panda flowery shirt. They say it looks like a mafia shirt. But I fell sick in taiwan and still haven't got better yet. Its not supposed to take so long!